Wiley Town Archive #2

October 31st - A News Article from The Wiley Watch.

The Wiley Watch

October 31st

By Zippy Fernandez

A Splitting Headache: The Great Banana Scorched in All Hollow’s Eve Horror!

Around 4:15 AM on Friday morning, Wiley Fire Department responded to a call of an active fire at Wiley Square. Reports from residents in nearby homes described heavy smoke amid the bright blaze. Several first responders had to look away from the horrific scene upon arriving.

“It was the Banana,” Fire Chief Rivera told The Wiley Watch. “We come into work every day knowing it could be our last, but none of us were prepared for something like this.”

The Great Banana was cloaked in roaring orange flames that towered over forty feet. Firefighters snuffed out the blaze in a matter of minutes, but the damage was done. The Banana, once in its prime a golden yellow statue with a pristine peel, was now charred and blanketed in soot.

By 4:25 AM, 30 police vehicles surrounded Wiley Square, with over 50 officers responding to the call. Investigators rolled out yellow caution tape and warned off curious bystanders.

“I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing,” said Carolina Petti, a frequenter of City Square and the Great Banana. She was out walking her dog when she heard the crackling of flames. “The Banana has been a part of this town for hundreds of years. Who could do such a thing?”

Investigators are asking the same question. Security footage from a hot dog cart across Wiley Square caught a dark figure crouching near the Great Banana moments before it went up in flames. Investigators believe this unidentified person may have deliberately set the Great Banana on fire with either a match or lighter.

At a City Hall press conference early Friday afternoon, Police Chief Elmer was visibly moved to tears as he confirmed that foul play is suspected. “We’re going to need all the help we can get with this investigation,” he said. “We’ve called in the big guns.”

Wiley Mayor Ernest Dover was unavailable for comment. In a press release Friday evening, the Office of the Mayor cancelled All Hollow’s Eve festivities, including Trick-or-Treat and the yearly Pumpkin Parade. Flags have been ordered to be lowered to half-staff.

“My kids are disappointed,” Petti said. “But I’m reminding them of the story of the Great Banana, and I think the gravity of the situation is settling in.”

“It’s an All Hollow’s Eve nightmare,” Chief Elmer admitted to the crowd of reporters during the press conference. “Hold on strong, Wileyans. This story isn’t over.”

Zippy Fernandez reporting from Wiley.